Things Clients Say #4

 I want this shirt.

Here we go...


"I want to add punctuation to the end of my prizes, most likely an exclamation mark."

Heh... "most likely." Hehehe.  It's not like punctuation is a game of chance.

"Thanks couple of things SG in my email address isnt capitalized might be case sensitive add cell number"

Speaking of punctuation (or lack thereof)... wow.

"I would like one large picture to take up the whole AD and the text over top."

"AD"? OK, whatever. And yes, a large photo with text (lots of text, mind you) on top of it always looks great. Yep, good call. You should be a designer!

"I just had my printer re-size the poster to make a 4 X 6 and we used it for flyers and for table tents. [insert smiley emoticon]"

Seriously, do not smile at me about this.  I spent time crafting a perfectly awesome poster, getting everything just so, pining over every detail, and you go & let your printer fuck with it. Now I'm sure it's all stretched out or cropped all crazy and looks like total shit. Thanks a lot. 
(Now, I realize this is just a stupid poster, and who gives a shit right? I get it, my job is quite trivial many times - and don't think that doesn't bother me. I'm just sayin'... when someone spends time doing something for you, it's the decent thing to do to at least attempt to respect that.)


"How do I apply a graphic to an email signature in Outlook? Does it let you do it?" 
Um, yes, it "lets" me. Only because I'm nice to it, and I rub its belly and give it treats. Really, dude, If you can't do this, there's not much I can do to help you.  

"Make the voucher a 4" soccer ball shape."

Are you kidding? Why can't people just call it a freaking circle? 

"I need my logo 2' x 3' at 1200 dpi."

Holy CRAP, that's a huge file. I mean, so huge that my PC won't even render it. And why in the world you you need something that high-res and gargantuan anyway? Ohhhh, wait.... you mean 2" x 3", don't you? Of course, you don't know how to delineate feet versus inches. Can't say I'm surprised.

(Yes, I have to work on a PC at the agency. It's super annoying. And get THIS - people here use COREL! AHAHAHA!! Not me, of course. I use real design programs. And I have a MacBook Pro at home... for the record.)  


"If you can have these printed for us that would be great! We need about 2000.00"
No, this person is not referring to money. She is referring to print quantity. Yep. Guess she's making sure I don't send her partial ones. Like 1999.25 of them.


And now for a look at a the direction I'm given for the design of an ENTIRE website:


"Flash hero image, social media icons, pink background, logo."
*sigh* I like freedom in design, but come on.