"Put our address and contact info and something that says how much it's valued at. Include disclaimer: *No cash value*"
Hmm... interesting. Value = $0?
"I need a black & white ad for a high-profile, affluent university. Their mascot is a spider and their colors are red & blue."
OK - black & white ad, colors: red & blue. With spiders. Sounds awesome... and totally impossible.
"I need an ad for [some random bridal] magazine. Classy, elegant yet modern font, all one font."
I know, how about I use Comic Sans. ALL Comic Sans. Since apparently I don't know how to use fonts properly. Oh, not classy enough? How about all Edwardian Script? That would look beautiful.
When asked for the dimensions (in pixels) of a web graphic to be created: "What is the current size of the image you provided, because we need it to be approximately 1/2 that size. We'd like it in more of a vertical position."
Riiight. That does not help.
"Take the dollar sign off and then we are good to go."
In general, if someone works in a bar, you'd think they would know how to spell Corona (not Carona), margaritas (not margarittas), and know which beers are Light and which are Lite. I mean, seriously. Oh, and the grammar offenses.... "Complementary Appetizers" "Jose Cuervo Margarita's" "specialty martinis and Drinks" Ugh. My high school English teacher would have a heart attack. One day I will write a post about all the different ways of spelling "hors d'oeuvres."
"The font is too scripty. Is there a font maybe 1pt less cursive?"
I don't even know how to respond to this.
"I need a black & white ad for a high-profile, affluent university. Their mascot is a spider and their colors are red & blue."
OK - black & white ad, colors: red & blue. With spiders. Sounds awesome... and totally impossible.
"I need an ad for [some random bridal] magazine. Classy, elegant yet modern font, all one font."
I know, how about I use Comic Sans. ALL Comic Sans. Since apparently I don't know how to use fonts properly. Oh, not classy enough? How about all Edwardian Script? That would look beautiful.
Riiight. That does not help.
"Take the dollar sign off and then we are good to go."
Really, you want it to say "6.99 Appetizers" instead of "$6.99 Appetizers"? So, hey customer! We have 6.99 appetizers here during happy hour. Come see them! Marvel at the 6.99 appetizers... that are not for sale.
In general, if someone works in a bar, you'd think they would know how to spell Corona (not Carona), margaritas (not margarittas), and know which beers are Light and which are Lite. I mean, seriously. Oh, and the grammar offenses.... "Complementary Appetizers" "Jose Cuervo Margarita's" "specialty martinis and Drinks" Ugh. My high school English teacher would have a heart attack. One day I will write a post about all the different ways of spelling "hors d'oeuvres."
And now for the MAC DADDY from this week....
"The font is too scripty. Is there a font maybe 1pt less cursive?"
I don't even know how to respond to this.
a, hahahahahahahahaaaaa at the last one.
ReplyDeleteI just had to put down my spoon so that I could laugh out loud at the last one.
ReplyDeleteLove these.
Bwaaaahhhhh! The last one and the 6.99 appetizers had me laughing out loud at my desk this morning. Thank you for these. :) And please, don't ever worry that we will grow bored of them. We won't. Ever.
ReplyDeleteHAHAHAHA! These are SO awesome!!!
ReplyDelete