And... MORE Things Clients Say

 Because these people drive me to drink.
And because my blog needs more pictures.

It seems as though I will have enough fodder to do this about once a week. Lucky you! Here we go...

"I want this flyer for Opening Day to be shaped like a baseball."
LOL. You mean... a circle? Sure thing.

"Use [celebrity] on it. Ya know, the photo where he's fist pumping."
You can't do that.
"It's fine."
No, actually it's not fine. (See here for more on this.)


"This is a special menu - items made with cherries. Use pictures of cherry blossoms."
OK, so you realize that cherry blossoms really have nothing to do with cherries, right? It's not like cherries grow on the cherry blossom trees. Actually, I'm sure you don't know that. So how 'bout this? How 'bout I use pictures of CHERRIES? Makes sense, no? That's what I thought.

"That color looks nothing like what I picked out in the color book [Pantone Color Bridge]. Fix it! I picked out pink, this is purple!"
Pantone is an ink company. The color book is meant to match Pantone ink, and is really intended for color-matching when it comes to printing. So, sometimes they don't reproduce exactly on-screen. I'll change them for you so that they will be pretty close on-screen and in print.

"But I looked at that color book thing, and I just want those colors. Can you just make it the colors I picked out? These are not right either."

It helps if you read and retain. Read, retain, think. I know, izzz very tough. *sigh* 

"I want a design that POP's." 
Numero uno... your grammar SUCKS. Secondly, maybe you can explain to me what "pop" means in this context because no one seems to actually know. Usually I get "just make it look good." Like I would make it look like shit on purpose? I think someone needs to make a Wiki definition of "make it pop" in the context of graphic design. Who's with me?

"Can we also please add "donate a dress" to the line that has donate an accessory.  They are trying to do a dress and accessory drive.  Does that make sense?"

How could "add 'donate a dress'" NOT make sense? Who is the stupid one here? It ain't me!

"Can we try a brighter orange, not in the goldie orange. Maybe a monarch orange, in the same tones as the pink and green. "
Orange in the same "tone" as pink and green. Yes, yes, makes perfect sense.

"Hey, Sar" ...blah blah blah... stupid question.

Hmm... Sar, huh? I'm not sure I'm happy about you calling me this, considering I don't know you personally and the interaction I have with you is always super annoying.


Gotta love it.
Happy almost Friday! Woo hoo!

Design It! Or, what?

OK, so this is not a funny post. Sorry, peeps.

Someone asked me to do something today which I strongly oppose. More specifically, a superior asked me to use an image of a celebrity on advertising for a bar. Even more specifically, to steal an image of a celebrity (meaning we don't have permission, nor have purchased rights) and use it to promote a specific event at more than a couple bars/restaurants around the country. Apparently, this "strategy" has been approved by the client and the company I work for has been released from all liability, should something happen.

I have refused to do it... not because I'm worried about getting in trouble, but because I feel the need to uphold my integrity in this industry where these kinds of practices run rampant. I'm fairly certain there will be no serious consequences (ie - getting fired) that come from my unwillingness to do this. In fact, I am fairly certain my position on this will be respected. However, hypothetically speaking, say it comes down to this: Do what I ask, or I'll find someone else who will. What would you do?

I kind of need a job, however, do I need any job bad enough that I will compromise this thing - this seemingly small thing - that I'm protecting?

Health Care

Disclaimer: This is gonna be controversial. If you don't want to hear it, check back tomorrow and I'll have a warm and fuzzy... and/or funny blog. But, since one reason I started this blog is for somewhere to talk about politics other than on Facebook, I'm gonna throw my opinion out there.

First off, let me just say that I have no health insurance offered through my employer and to add me to my husband's is prohibitively expensive, so I have been forced to purchase individual health coverage. I pay $350/month and that's for basic, in-case-something-catastrophic-happens-to-me, coverage. I do not have maternity coverage, because if I did, it would cost double that. Not to get too personal, but obviously, this situation is putting a hold on some things. I also have what my insurance company deems a "preexisting condition," so, that doesn't help my premium one bit. I wasn't sure they were going to even cover me there for a while. No, I'm not dying or anything, so don't worry.

So here's what I think. I am quite happy that this bill is getting closer to passing. Is it perfect? I'm sure it's not. Does it have a lot of added shit in it? I'm sure it does. But, it's the government... that's going to happen no matter what. I think we can all agree that insurance companies not taking someone because they have a condition, therefor forcing that person to pay out-of-pocket for care, and possibly losing everything they have because of medical bills due to something they can't control is an injustice - or alternatively, losing their life because the can't pay.We can also agree that insurance companies dropping someone because they get sick, there for the above also happens, is again, an injustice. But, we have to remember that the evil insurance company is trying to run a business and to assume that risk is bad business. Unfortunately, the impact those decisions have on people's lives can be enourmous... and detrimental.

It's this simple - if the government forces insurance companies to cover those who are sick or have preexisting conditions, without requiring everyone to carry insurance, the health insurance (and probably the entire system) would collapse because people would only buy insurance if they are sick. The only way to solve this is to require everyone to have insurance, therefor spreading out the risk to insurance companies, so that they are able to cover those who need it. Perhaps this is common sense, but I feel like it needs to be pointed out again.

Yes, if you're healthy, maybe it sucks for you a little. Maybe you don't want the government to spend your tax dollars on this. Maybe you don't have insurance and are willing to take the gamble that nothing will happen to you, or if it does, you'll be able to pay for it. I understand, but, what happens if it doesn't work out that way?

I feel like this is for the greater good - to save lives of our fellow Americans, our friends, family, and maybe even ourselves one day. I'm willing to sacrifice a little for that. Do I think the government is stepping on my rights? Um, no, I really don't. Everyone has the right to affordable medical care - and our current system is not working. It's just like any other law we must follow to live in this society... and this one will save lives.

It's quite possible that I'm being a bit too optimistic about this. The government is inherently evil, after all (hehehe). However, I'd rather see something done than nothing and I'm going to hope and pray that this something makes things better.

I just gotta laugh.

Ahh... the things clients say. Here are some examples from this week:

"I want red and gold for my colors. I absolutely DO NOT want yellow."

OK, dude, seriously, I have no magic wand to make something gold/shiny/glittery. Gold = yellow (a hue/value of, anyway). Deal.

"Use silver for OSU."

See above comment. It's called gray. 

"I want a postcard that will be used to email tax and accounting firms."

 Really? You're going to email a postcard, huh? Let me know how that goes for you.

"Can you make a poster [11 x 17 (vertical)] look EXACTLY like my screenplay [1920px x 1080px (horiz)]."

Um, no.

"If you send them to print today, I will get them tomorrow, right?"

Ha! You're hilarious. (said in the voice of Stewie Griffin)

"It's supposed to be 'April Fool's Day'"

Nope, writer person, it's Fools'. Look at your AP style book. Or, I'll let you borrow mine... ya know, the one I use to check the grammar of people who are supposed to know how to use it.

"Please put this copy [2 page Word doc] on one side of the 4 x 6 postcard."

C'mon, do you really not understand that it won't fit? Most people can't read 4pt type.

"Download the logo off their website and make it big on the 11 x 17 poster."

*sigh* It won't work because it will be too pixelated. You see, web resolution.... oh, nevermind.

What else is there to do but laugh at them? Blog about them, of course! These people make me all the more appreciative of my good, smart clients. Thank God for them.